The reality is that while it might look like I’m sound asleep, perfectly still and eyes shut, inside I’m anything but. It’s like my mind comes to life as soon as I hit the bed. I started to think about this because I have a Fitbit, which supposedly tracks your sleep. I checked it this… Continue reading I might look like I’m sleeping…
I’ve noticed the weirdest thing… When I’m sad I write about positive things. When I’m happy I can write about negative times. I’ve only been writing this blog for a month but it’s been one of the hardest months of my life. But I bet you’d never know that from the blog posts I’ve written.… Continue reading The truth of my PND
This week I’ve been thinking about support and I came to realise that… It’s ok to ask for help. You will get stronger and when you do, you can return the favour. If you are looking for help and support with depression and anxiety please seek professional medical advice from a GP. If you are… Continue reading Monday Morning Musings II
So last night was my first post-baby night out with friends, having a drink like old times. I’m 10 months postpartum and have been diagnosed with Postnatal Depression. So I thought a night out with the ladies, a good old drink, just what I need to feel happy again. Yes, the night was great but… Continue reading Alcohol + My Postnatal Depression = Disaster
PND : I’ve lost me. I won’t forget the overwhelming sadness and sense of guilt that I had about feeling that I’d totally lost myself after the birth of my baby. I wanted my old life back. My pre-baby life. A life where I was in control. I had no responsibility and total freedom. I… Continue reading It’s OK to grieve for your old life
When you are suffering from Postnatal Depression, unfortunately life can become about you getting better and that can create guilt about not being the best mum for your baby. Please don’t let this guilt fool you. You are doing the best possible job you can and if you are on your journey to recovering, you’re… Continue reading Your mum had PND: An open letter to my son
I think back to when I was first discussing my depression with the Early Childhood Nurse and she asked if I had anxiety – I said ‘no, I didn’t think so’. If she had replaced the word ‘anxiety’ with ‘worry” – I would have said ‘yes, ALOT!’. Anxious and Anxiety just wasn’t in my vocabulary.… Continue reading Anxiety: Being on guard for your baby
I was recently asked by TwoHandsStrong to create an artwork for a blog post she had written. The post is called I am a good mother and it’s about her experience of a psychotic episode after the birth of her son. It was a huge honor to be asked to create an artwork for someone’s… Continue reading My first ‘commission’
I never thought I enjoyed writing, it always seemed like a chore. I’m not sure why. I wasn’t a fan of English at school – maybe this was because we’d get asked to read out loud to the class. I was shy enough without the fear of embarrassing myself because when I read I find… Continue reading Writing
I found seeing my son very sick for the first time was a huge emotional struggle for me. With the additional sleep deprivation, from being up all night, it culminated into an emotional breakdown. It happened a few weeks before I was diagnosed with PND. I don’t think that was a coincidence. It’s heartbreaking to… Continue reading Seeing your baby sick for the first time
PND Recovery 