So, yesterday I met with my boss because my maternity leave is coming to an end (very scary to think my son is almost 12 months!!!). It was a actually really nice and relaxed lunch, in the beautiful sunshine at a cafe around the corner from my workpace.
I felt alot less anxious than I usually would (I wonder if the medication is finally kicking in). I knew my intentions, I had my letter of resignation in my bag. I also knew that she would bring up my return date, so it was just a matter of telling her – I wasn’t returning!
To be honest, when I left on my maternity leave, I had no idea what to expect – I was even Googling – how long to take maternity leave. In the end I decided to tell my employer that I’d be back in 6 months… well that didn’t happen! At 6 months postpartum I was probably at my worst with Postnatal Depression – it was when I was just seeking help and I felt like a complete zombie mum; there was no way I could turn up to the office like that! I couldn’t make breakfast, let alone find suitable clothes to wear.
My departure from the company ended up naturally coming up in conversation and I (probably quite bluntly) told her I wouldn’t be coming back. She took it well and was very understanding of my situation. I’m actually grateful that she can now be more of a friend than a boss. I won’t be burning any bridges… you never know when you might need them.
So, I’ve joined the Stay at Home Mum brigade. I’m very fortunate that I can afford to stay at home at the moment, as I’m house sharing with my parents. Even though, this was never my intention, I could not imagine it any other way. I’ll be honest – I never thought I’d be a mumsy mum… I thought my son would probably irritate me and bore me, however I’ve found I absolutely love his company and enjoy every moment that I’m able to spend with him (except when he’s teething).
So it’s onwards and upwards… to where, I do not know yet. All I know is that I’m going to try and enjoy each moment, while making sure I beat my Postnatal Depression so that I can be the best mum possible to my son.