Warning: uncensored thoughts being unleashed below.
I’d like to show other mums that it’s not strange to feel threatened or angered by ‘well meaning’ advice givers. Here are some examples of advice I’ve been given or heard others given and what I was thinking in my mind. (I was polite at the time & nodded but inside I was fuming).
– I know it will but right now I cant f**king handle it!
Maybe he’s unsettled because you had a stressful job when pregnant.
– Maybe you’re so ugly because your mum drank ginger beer while she was pregnant.
Sleep when the baby sleeps.
– Shall I cook and clean when the baby does too?
Oh she doesn’t sleep. Are you breastfeeding?
– Do you wipe from front to back or back to front?
You just need a rest
– You just need to f**k off.
You should be happy, you’ve got a baby.
– I cannot comprehend what happy means right now. If you want happy look after my baby for a while please.
It was harder back in my day.
– You are not me and you don’t know what the f**k I’m going through inside right now.
She’ll sleep through one day.
– But what about now, when I’m so tired I can’t work out how to open a f**king jar!
You’ll know what your baby needs, it’s a mother’s instinct.
– Sorry they didn’t give me the mindreading brain transplant after birth. How did I miss that?
Do you think you’ll have another one?
– Seriously, are you f**king serious. Give me a break, I’m still in shock from the birth.
I wanted to write this to illustrate two points:
1. Think before you speak.
2. It’s normal to feel angry when someone passes a thoughtless comment or judgement.
It could be an idea to write down how you felt you would have liked to have responded (maybe not publicly like above) and then destroy it. Or if you fancy, leave a comment below and get something off your chest here (without mentioning any names).
I feel that if you keep hold of your angry thoughts then your holding onto alot of angry energy. You don’t want that… write it down, let it go.
Good luck, there are some thoughtless f**kers out there.