When you are suffering from Postnatal Depression, unfortunately life can become about you getting better and that can create guilt about not being the best mum for your baby.

Please don’t let this guilt fool you. You are doing the best possible job you can and if you are on your journey to recovering, you’re taking the right steps to being an even more amazing mother.

This is an open letter to my son, who has always been there with his smile through my journey.

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Dear son,

After you were born, I was diagnosed with Postnatal Depression and Anxiety. Please never think this was your fault – it was 100% NOT. You have nothing to feel guilty about. I really would like to thank you.

Thank you for putting up with me. I’m sorry I didn’t smile as much as I’d like to have. But you must know your smile brings joy into my every day.

Thank you for all that you have taught me. You might not know it yet but you have brought the most amazing lessons into my life. As your mum, I might appear to know everything but I want you to know – I dont. I’m still learning, every day and every moment. Our relationship is a two way street and as you will see I’ll give you as much knowledge as I can, but please don’t stop teaching me.

Thank you for giving me some direction. Before you, I was just plodding along in life, mostly trying to please others. You have given me the motivation and determination to follow my dreams. You have brought meaning to my life and given me a direction. I’d be lost without you.

Thank you for being patient with me. There were many times which I’d love to have been more involved with you. However, my depression made it hard for me to move. I will forever be grateful for your patience. Always know that I love you, sometimes I just need some time.

Thank you for being so determined. If it wasn’t for your determination to get what you wanted, I would have been quite clueless. There have been times that you’ve been difficult to settle but I know that’s because you’re trying so hard to communicate what you need to me.

Thank you for all the insights you have given me. I would never have seen the world as I see it today without you. I am truly grateful for that and I will pass onto you what I can.

Thank you for being my son. I promise I will always do the best I can by you. Your dad and I will always be here for you.

Finally,
Thank you for always being my shining star,
love you my baby
xxx